The Sky Is Falling

Well, in my case it's actually the ceiling. Make that TWO ceilings. The first being the ceiling in my wonderfully sh*tty apartment. I loathe that apartment. We finally decided to suck it up, embrace adulthood, and buy our first house/townhouse/condo/treehouse/cardboard box (hopefully not the latter two, but I'm just bracing myself for the way things have been going.) I'm truly holding out hope that I can find a *nice* place less than 30 minutes from work. I'm really, really hoping. I don't care if it's a shoebox as long as there are 4 well-painted walls, some real tile, and has sturdy ceilings with no upstairs neighbors to rain down on them. This brings me to my point...

The first ceiling incident occurred Valentine's Day night. Some background: I was already peeved because my husband got a call the afternoon before asking if he was available to work ALL weekend (and by all I mean, every day until midnight or 1am.) He wisely told them he had plans for Saturday night with his wife for Valentine's day, but that he was free until 5pm that day and until midnight for the next century... So, he got home Saturday after being worn out from working. We got ready and went to Cirque de Soleil. Getting there was a mild disaster, but we made it... only 10 minutes late after walking around Atlanta Station for about 45 minutes trying to find the entrance to the damn tent. The show was interesting... not really my thing, but I'm glad we went. I would never spend that much money to see that show again. I thought it was going to be much more "show" than "circus." Unfortunately, "circus" prevailed and we're both incredibly freaked out by clowns. We were looking forward to going home and relaxing after the stressful day/evening, but when we walked into the aforementioned crap heap we call an apartment, we were met with a giant puddle in the middle of our sagging kitchen floor.

"Hmm, I thought. Where could this come from?"

I then made the mistake of looking up.

Long story short, the upstairs neighbor's dishwasher overflowed. And, since there's virtually no insulation separating our apartments (we hear every glorious peyote-induced praise fest, bongo drum song, toilet use, and aerobic workout), the putrid dishwasher water was flowing over my ceiling, running across my light light fixture, and splashing onto my Gucci glasses (before hitting the floor.) I was not pleased. We were genuinely afraid the ceiling was about to collapse, so we did the rational thing and called the after hours maintenance line. It was about midnight by then and the guy didn't show up until at least 1:30am. He was, of course, complaining. At least it wasn't his house.

That was the first ceiling disaster. The second happened today... I was sitting in my office minding my own business when I heard this "creak, creak, creak... pitter, patter" sound. At first, I thought it was background music in my headphones. Then I thought that the office upstairs had gotten a new printer. It continued. I investigated the rest of the office... no creaky sound. I sat back down and looked up. (Why do I never learn???) I saw some discolored areas in the tile, but they looked old. I couldn't tell if they were expanding while I was continually watching them, so I thought I would go to the bathroom and come back to see if there was a size difference or if I was hallucinating. Turns out, it was in fact another leak. (I was consoled that I wasn't hallucinating... the only upside.) The "shaded area" had grown to a steady stream of water falling onto my desk... about 6 inches away from my computer. Luckily, I grabbed the computer before serious damage was done. After letting out a slew of explitives, I threw a trash can under it and went up to the office management company's office. They were very helpful and had someone come out and take care of it immediately, which was great! He even cleaned up even though I told him not to. My kind of guy! :) He tried to patch the hole... and turned off the water to the dental chair that is directly above my desk on the floor above (it's a dentist office.) It's supposed to be fixed for now, but may leak more over night. I'm staying at the other desk until I go home for the day so as to not test my luck further.

So, that's my story. I think it just about sums up the state of things these days... except in the broader context, Obama is the leaky dental chair from the floor above me that I can't control and I'm the poor desk who can't get out of the way of the impending flood that will destroy all of my hard work.